if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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