He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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