So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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