i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
