I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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