he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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