I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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