I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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