I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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