Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
