He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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