somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
