And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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