butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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