Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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