Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
