I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
