Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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