you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i wish my penis had a tongue
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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