u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
