he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Who did Billy Mays play for?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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