We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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