What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
