he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
