you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
