Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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