I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
