Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
