You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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