She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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