During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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