i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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