oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize