we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
