You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
