tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
