Already got asked if we're dating
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
