I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
