So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
