After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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