Sponge bath it is.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I stole a fireplace last night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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