Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
