It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
