I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
