The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
