the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
