we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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