It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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