Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
