It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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