8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
