We need to rekindle our bromance
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think a kid would responsible me up
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
