Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
third nipple confirmed
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
