I can't watch pbs sober anymore
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
