Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
