This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
