do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
