i would punch a child for taco bell
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
